Hermaphrodite
by Riseha
Summary: AU, Leorio stared at them in all seriousness. "Kurapika... I don't think he's a boy at all." Gon and Killua stared blankly at him. "What!" Oneshot, KuraKillu. [K Pair]


**Hermaphrodite**

**Summary:** AU, Leorio stared at them in all seriousness. "Kurapika... I don't think he's a boy at all." Gon and Killua stared blankly at him. "What!"  
**Warnings:** Expletives. No shonen-ai.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you recognize!  
**Pairing(s):** Kurapika/?

* * *

"Guys," Leorio called, crossing his arms, looking grim. "I have an announcement to make. It's very important."

Killua arched a brow, settling into his seat in the booth. "Oh? Well, not all of us are here yet. Let's wait for Kurapika—"

"No!" Leorio exploded, slamming his palms onto the table, shocking the hell out of his friends and prompting many glares of discomfort from everyone.

Gon blinked, sweat-dropping some. "Er..." he shared a glance with his best friend. "_Why_?"

"Yeah, why."

"Because this is about him," Leorio whispered, lowering his voice, his cheeks slightly red. Leorio stared at them in all seriousness and said, "Kurapika... I don't think he's a boy at all."

Gon and Killua stared blankly at him. "What!"

"Quiet down!" Leorio hissed, unintentionally raising his voice and prompting one of the waitresses to step forward.

"Sirs, we request you to keep it down," she said coldly, eyeing their Hunter badge with disdain. "else, you'll be forced to leave."

Killua scoffed, but Gon elbowed him into silence, and offered a polite smile coupled with an apology. "Hehe, sorry, we promise to keep it down." The moment the waitress left with a huff, unable to see Killua sticking his tongue out at her, Gon whirled back to his older friend. "You serious?" he asked in a hushed whisper.

"Damn, right!"

"Lower down the volume of your voice," Killua muttered. He eyed Leorio seriously. "What makes you think so?" The young assassin's eyes glinted playfully.

"Whenever we change, he waits till we're done before he does so. Whenever we pee, y'know, he goes into stalls. He won't even go into the hotsprings, we're all guys! What's there to be shy about?"

"Nothing," Gon pointed out blankly.

Leorio nodded seriously. "See my point? He's no guy, he's a chick I tell you! You've got be blind if you didn't notice how Kuroro leers at him, that guy knows, I tell you!"

Killua smirked. "Heh... why do you care so much? Is someone in love or something?"

"Who's in love with who?"

Leorio yelped. "Kurapika!" he yelled when he saw their blonde friend blinking grey eyes down at them.

Killua grinned mischievously. "Well..." he drew out the word, waggling his eyebrows. "Leorio's—"

"Shut up, you brat!"

"Sirs! Out!"

**xXx**

"Honestly," Kurapika huffed, arms crossed as they exited the small cafe. "I can't leave anyone of you for a moment without you guys getting into trouble."

Killua smirked. "That's what you're for, Kurapika."

"Yup!" Gon agreed cheerily. His grin dimmed as he gazed at his friend thoughtfully, starting to circle the blonde and eyeing him critically.

Kurapika blinked down at the smaller Hunter. "What's wrong?"

"I was just wondering—"

"Gon!" Leorio hissed, clapping his hand over the boy's mouth. "Shut up, he'll kill us!"

Kurapika's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "It's too late now, talk."

Killua sighed. "Wouldn't it be easier to just ask him straight away instead of beating around the bush? He'll be even more mad if we do. He'll think we don't trust him or something."

"You know me well, Killua," Kurapika smirked, eyebrow twitching in annoyance, cracking his knuckles. "Now, speak."

"Uh..." Leorio's panic meter flared for a moment before he latched onto a perfect excuse. "We're just wondering if you have a special someone! That's all, haha."

"Um, yeah, we hope you can answer us honestly!" Gon laughed nervously, ready to wriggle out of trouble. Kurapika was scary when he was mad.

Kurapika blinked, perplexed as he studied his friends'—Leorio's relieved face, Gon's nervous grin and Killua's narrowed eyes—face. "Oh... is that all?"

"Yeah," Killua muttered darkly, raising a challenging brow Kurapika's way. "So, do tell us about this special _girl_."

Leorio twitched when he saw Kurapika's dreamy expression (for the boy anyway, onlookers would just think the Kurata clan member was just in deep thought).

"As a matter of fact, yes, I have someone special." Kurapika suppressed the smirk fighting to surface when he saw Killua's twitching, Gon's wide-eyed expression of wonder and Leorio's jaw dropping. "Why so surprised?"

"I can't imagine any girl would want to be near someone as bad-tempered as you—"

Kurapika cracked his knuckles. "I'm afraid I didn't hear that Leorio."

Gon laughed, smiling up at Kurapika with that same, sweet and innocent grin he always had. "Congratulations, when can we meet her? It'd be nice if you can tell us more about her, then we'd be ready to face her!"

"Hm," Kurapika smirked, amused at everyone's expressions. "Well, she's very short-tempered, quite crazy, could go from cute to murderous in one second. She's very smart but when it concerns herself, she's about as smart as a dog. Hm, she also has serious brother complex issues, she ran away from home even."

Leorio frowned. "That sounds familiar."

"—her hair's as bright as steel, her will is as tough too," the chain-user mused, smiling softly. "her eyes are as cold as the glaciers in the North."

Gon's eyebrows rose. "He sounds like he's really in love," he smiled. "I'm happy for Kurapika."

Unseen by the budding doctor and innocent Hunter, a certain Zoldyck assassin was itching to kill a certain blonde.

**xXx**

When Kurapika found himself backed up against a cobbled wall, he wasn't all that surprised. He smirked softly, raising his hands in a placating manner.

"Mad?" he teased.

His love glared at him, nails dangerously sharp. "How dare you..."

Kurapika shrugged. "It's true, I have to kiss you to get my point across."

The other's cheeks flamed. "If you hadn't been so stupidly cryptic—!"

"I didn't blow your cover."

That seemed to placate the other who huffed, shoving her hands into her pocket. She glared slightly, a pout on her adorable face.

Then, abruptly, she leaned forward, a suggestive leer on her face. "So," the assassin purred, nails trailing her lover's face. "are you a boy or girl?"

"You know, Kil."

Killua Zoldyck shrugged her petite shoulders. "No, I can't be sure. You saw me naked which is how you determine my gender, I didn't see your naked body."

Kurapika leaned forward, efficiently silencing the young girl who had the habit of cross-dressing.

"Well, all you need to know is that I'm your hermaphrodite."

**xXx**

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